(Image Credit: pixabay.com; the image is at this link. Used without modification under Creative Commons Licence)
A poll showed that 27% of Canadians support jail time for the unvaccinated – but the government’s policy specifically says that ‘informed consent’ of prison inmates is required for vaccination. I offer a script to capture this comedic contradiction.
On January 19, the result of an opinion poll was published widely, showing that 27% of those polled were in support of jail time for those Canadians who are still not vaccinated against Covid-19 (see this link).
On the other hand, the policy for prison inmates available on the website of the Government of Canada states categorically that an inmate’s consent must be obtained before any vaccine can be administered to them (see this link; in addition, I am also giving a screencap of the relevant paragraph just in case the web page gets modified later).
I pointed out the anomaly between the two in a tweet, which led to a discussion that I thought could be converted to a comedy skit.
One gap between the two is that so far, there has been no public discussion (at least that I am aware of) regarding how the unvaccinated would be identified. I have created a fictional system for this purpose in my skit.
Before I get to the skit, however, I have an important announcement to make.
If anyone wants to make a movie based on my script, I hereby authorize them to do so on the following conditions:
- They must give attribution to me for the idea & script, both in the credits in the footage as well in the description of the movie anywhere.
- They must not deviate from the script in the movie in any manner.
- They must advise me about the movie being made, and provide me with a copy / link to it.
There are no further conditions.
Darshan Maharaja (DM) is not vaccinated against Covid-19. The government has passed a law authorizing it to imprison all unvaccinated individuals. It has set up checking points at various locations in each city and town to verify the vaccination status of each person passing the checking point (akin to the ‘Ride Check’ system). These checking points are not always located in the same place, to prevent unvaccinated individuals from dodging the checking. As one moves about, one doesn’t know where the checking point will be on any given date and time.
A police officer (PO) flags down DM and asks if he is vaccinated. DM replies in the negative.
PO (cheerfully): “We can give you a jab right now if you wish. We have a mobile vaccine clinic right here (pointing to an unmarked bus). Would you like to get it now?”
DM: “No, thank you. I don’t want to take the Covid vaccine at all.”
PO: “That’s disappointing. I was hoping to help you. You do know that you can be arrested and jailed for not being vaccinated, right?”
DM: “Yes, I am aware of that law. I still don’t want to be vaccinated.”
PO: “In that case, I will have to arrest you right now and take you to the court where the judge will sentence you to imprisonment.”
DM: “Excuse me?”
PO: “What do you mean by that?”
DM: “What I mean is, the judge is supposed ton decide that, isn’t he?”
PO (frowning): “The law is clear. I will have no option but to take you to the court right away.”
DM: “How far is it?”
PO: “The KC is right here.”
PO: “It means Kinetic Court.”
DM: “Oh, I thought ‘KC’ stood for ‘Kangaroo Court’.”
PO (with deeper frown): “No it doesn’t. We named it ‘kinetic’ because the word ‘mobile’ was already allotted to the clinic. In our reports, we mention them by their initials, and if we named the court as ‘mobile’, both the clinic and the court would be ‘MC’. That’s why the choice.”
DM: “So where is this KC?”
PO: “It’s in the same bus as the MC. Saves us time, space and (beaming) taxpayers’ money.”
By this time, they have reached the bus. PO & DM climb in.
PO delivers DM to the prison. The Prison Chief (PC) is a pleasant man of robust physique. DM and PC are seated in PC’s spacious office.
PC: “So – you were sentenced for not being vaccinated. That’s really sad. Let me explain how we treat you here: we encourage all our inmates to take the Covid vaccine – but we can’t force them to do so.”
DM: “You mean I can be imprisoned for not taking the vaccine, but while in prison, I can refuse to take it? That doesn’t make sense. How can I have more rights inside prison than outside?”
PC (smiling behind his mask): “I am just a humble public servant – I follow the policy that I am handed.”
DM (shrugs): “That sounds like ‘I was just following orders’, but OK, I guess.”
PC (visibly peeved): “One last thing – did your doctor advise you not to take the vaccine?”
DM: “No, he gave me all the information and then left the decision to me.”
PC: “So he did not force you to take it?”
PC: ‘What is the doctor’s name?”
DM: (Gives the name)
DM’s doctor receives an email from the College of Surgeons & Physicians of Ontario stating that it has been reliably reported to CPSO that the doctor had failed to administer the Covid vaccine to a patient, and therefore the doctor’s registration with CPSO was being suspended with immediate effect. This is followed by a stern warning that the doctor should forthwith stop practicing.
The email ends with a link where the doctor can appeal the CPSO decision. Finally, as a footnote, there is intimation that due to a large number of suspensions recently, the appeals process is likely to take longer than usual time to be heard and decided upon; the current estimate is two years.
(The screen shows a newspaper headline saying that there have been outbreaks of Covid in many Ontario prisons, and that as a result, the government has decided to release all prison inmates).
DM is in PC’s office.
PC: “Due to the recent announcement by the government, we have to release you for your own safety. You will be escorted out.”
PC points to a Correctional Officer who is a female (COF).
As DM and COF are walking towards the gate:
COF: “So you are still unvaccinated.”
DM: “Yes, that is correct.”
COF: “Did you vote for PPC in the election?”
DM: “I don’t see how the two are connected.”
COF shakes her head as they continue walking, muttering ‘racist and misogynist’.
DM & COF are met outside the gate by the same officer who arrested DM.
DM: “Hey, it’s you again! See? I am out of prison – and still unvaccinated.”
PO: “I don’t remember you, so please don’t act palsy with me. And since you just admitted that you are unvaccinated, I have to take you to KC so you can be sentenced to prison again.”
DM: “But they will let me go the moment you bring me in.”
PO (smiling behind his mask): “I am a humble public servant – I just follow the policy that I am handed.”
DM (annoyed): “That sounds like ‘I was just following orders’, but OK, I guess.”
PO (also annoyed): “There is no comparison with the Nazi era, smartass. Now let’s go see the judge at KC.”
PO & DM are seen repeatedly walking into the prison.
PC is repeatedly seen telling DM that the policy of vaccination in prisons makes it a precondition to obtain inmates’ consent, which must be based on informed choice.
DM & COF are seen repeatedly walking from the prison to the gate.
PO is seen repeatedly taking DM to KC.
The song ‘There’s Something Funny Going On’ plays in the background as the credits roll.